


'cause no one listens to the dead

by orphan_account



Series: my fics [1]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Horror, Referenced Drinking, happy halloween uwu, make it clear that this isn't fluff, rated m for MURDER bitches, say it again with me, the first tag makes it look like fluff but then the rest, this isn't fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 00:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21262004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: sooyoung emerges from the waves. haseul is dragged into them.the cycle repeats.





	'cause no one listens to the dead

**Author's Note:**

> title from dodie's monster. thank you so so much to my amazing best friend who isn't on ao3 for beta-ing this and also supporting my weird kpop fanfic <3  
happy halloween!!

_ The night is silent. Waves crash on the rocky shore, and a full moon shines overhead. It’s nice. Peaceful, even. _

_ A girl with short hair rushes down the rocks, nearly tripping over her own feet, and pauses at the edge of the water. She promptly throws up.  _

-

Haseul wakes up and everything feels blurry. The last thing she remembers is the Halloween party last night, meeting Jungeun’s eye from across the room, dancing with Jinsol like it was the last night she’d ever be alive. Tossing back a drink like her ex’s gaze was a dare. Running from the party… apparently to end up here, on a dirty beach, the smell of vomit all around her, wearing nothing but underwear. 

Haseul pushes herself to her feet. She feels filthy, and looking up at the sky it’s still dark- maybe not for long, though. A voice sounds from behind her: “Need some help?”

Haseul whirls, and standing behind her is maybe the prettiest woman she’s seen in all her twenty years of life. She has black hair reaching halfway down her back, a sharp, red smile, and dizzying brown eyes.

Also, she’s wearing nothing but underwear. Just like Haseul

“What-” Haseul starts, scrambling backwards. “Who are you?”

The woman just smiles. “Sooyoung, at your service. You don’t remember me, Haseul?”

“Remember you?” Haseul echoes. “I’ve never seen you in my life.”

Sooyoung’s brows crease. “You don’t remember last night? You came down here drunk and I found you. We talked about your ex.” 

Now that Sooyoung mentions it, Haseul has a faint memory of sobbing in Sooyoung’s arms. “Did we, uh…”

Sooyoung waves her hands, a little frantically. “No, no! You wanted to go swimming and I couldn’t dissuade you, so I had to go in with you and keep an eye on you.”

“Oh,” Haseul says, relieved. “Sorry, I just… make bad decisions when drunk.”

“Clearly,” Sooyoung says, grinning. She has a cute smile; it’s not as intimidating as the rest of her. “It’s okay, though.” 

Haseul coughs, awkward. “I, uh…”

“Your clothes are over here,” Sooyoung volunteers, almost reading Haseul’s mind. “I live over there; don’t worry about me.” She points to a structure in the distance. 

“Thanks,” Haseul mutters, tugging on her still-wet jeans. “I’ll see you around, I guess? Thanks.”

“Anytime,” says Sooyoung, and watches Haseul go.

Only once she’s finished showering later does she notice a phone number in her pocket, with  _ Sooyoung <3  _ written on it. It’s not soggy at all. 

Weird.

-

_ Another girl, as if summoned by the scent of vomit, emerges from the sea, hair and skin slick with foam. She kneels next to the first girl, who looks up, eyes watering, and presses her head into her shoulder. _

_ “Shh,” whispers the girl from the sea. “It’s going to be okay. Come on, come with me.” She leads the drunk girl like a puppy to the edge of the water, where she balks.  _

-

**haseul: ** do you know a sooyoung? around our age?

**vivi: ** no, why? there’s park sooyoung but she moved away like five years ago

**vivi: ** and ha sooyoung, i guess 

**vivi: ** but i doubt you’re asking about her haha

**haseul: ** yeah no lmao

**haseul: ** it’s not a big deal, thanks

-

_ “It’s going to be okay,” she repeats, and, as trusting as a child, the first one nods. She clumsily takes off her t-shirt and jeans and splashes into the water without an ounce of grace, tears mixing with the ocean.  _

-

The next time she sees Sooyoung, she’s sitting at a table in Starbucks, trying to finish her essay. “Mind if I sit here?” a voice asks from above, and she turns to see Sooyoung, coffee in hand.

Haseul looks around; there are a few other empty tables, but she doesn’t mind. Sooyoung is nice- and pretty. “Sure,” Haseul says. “How are you doing?” 

“Pretty good,” Sooyoung says. “You never called me,” she adds, but she’s not accusatory- just pointing out a fact.

Haseul winces. “I forgot,” she says. “My roommate was pissed at me for coming home drunk, and I have a big essay coming up.”

“It’s fine.” Sooyoung smiles, and stirs her coffee thoughtfully. Absently, she reaches for the salt shaker and pour some in her coffee. Haseul stares.

“Did you mean to put that in your coffee? You probably meant for it to be sugar.”

“Oh, no,” Sooyoung says. “Coffee is delicious with salt. I guess I just have odd tastes,” she adds with a little laugh when Haseul still looks unconvinced. 

“To each their own, I guess,” Haseul mutters. The door jingles, and she turns around just to see Jungeun walk in. Haseul’s heart starts to beat faster and faster, and she watches her ex order tea ( _ probably green _ , Haseul thinks, dizzy,  _ it’s her favorite _ ) and pick it up. She catches sight of Haseul and Sooyoung, and as she begins to head in their direction, Haseul panics.

“Hi, Haseul-” Jungeun starts, but she interrupts. 

“Hi, Jungeun! I was meaning to introduce you to my girlfriend.”

There’s a tense silence as Jungeun and Sooyoung stare at each other, but to her credit, Sooyoung barely reacts. “It’s nice to meet you,” she says. “I’m Sooyoung.”

Jungeun blinks at Sooyoung for a long moment, then she nods. “It’s nice to meet you too. Haseul, Sooyoung- would you like to come over for dinner in a few nights? I’m having Jinsol- it could be a double date.”

“Sure,” says Sooyoung, answering before Haseul can come up with an explanation. “I’ll see you then.”

Jungeun smiles. “Sounds good. Oh, Jinsol’s calling me- I’ll see you later, Haseul, Sooyoung.”

The silence is nearly suffocation once Jungeun leaves. Haseul breaks it. “Can you pretend- I know you’ve been doing me a lot of favors lately, but can you-”

“Yeah,” Sooyoung says. “We can pretend break up when I leave the area in a few weeks. I don’t mind.”

“You’re leaving?”

Sooyoung nods. Her gaze is distant. “I just need to find something here first.”

-

_ The other follows, slipping through the waves like she was born there. They pass the place where the waves break without much difficulty, and once they get to deeper water, the drunk girl flails for air, sobs growing louder. She can’t tread water in this state. _

-

Haseul dresses for dinner in a teal silk dress with a white pearl necklace- she sends the picture to both Vivi and Sooyoung. The former says that it doesn’t look like Haseul, for good or for ill- the latter says she looks beautiful. The praise makes Haseul’s cheeks warm with pride. She’s ready to face Jungeun.

And Sooyoung.

At six pm precisely, she rings Jungeun’s doorbell. Jungeun opens the door and grins at her. “Hi, Haseul! I’m surprised to see you didn’t come with Sooyoung- she’s already here.”

“More punctual than I am, I guess,” Haseul says, hanging up her coat. “What’s for dinner?”

“Sooyoung and I ordered sushi,” Jungeun says. “Don’t worry, I remembered what you like.”

Out of context,  _ what you like _ sounds funny. In context, it’s just sad- both that Jungeun remembers and how much Haseul wants her to.

They greet Sooyoung, who whispers a quick  _ you look great _ into Haseul’s ear. Jinsol is already there, and she kisses Jungeun on the cheek- as much as Haseul wants to hate her, she can’t. The black-haired girl is too kind, too bubbly for anyone to hate. 

Once the sushi arrives, the small talk about weather dies down in favor of eating. Haseul, not particularly hungry, lets herself watch Sooyoung eat. It’s fascinating, the way the other girl navigates chopsticks with ease, uses her teeth to tear apart slivers of raw salmon. She takes bites of sushi, which would be odd on anyone else but is, on Sooyoung, strangely attractive.

“So,” Jungeun starts, “how did you two meet?”

“You’re cute together,” Jinsol adds, laughing. “You keep looking at each other when you think the other’s not paying attention.”

_ Oh _ , Haseul thinks. “We met at the beach,” she says, praying Sooyoung isn’t going to contradict her- they didn’t talk about this beforehand. Maybe they should have. “It was stormy, and she let me borrow her umbrella.”

“And she got me coffee,” Sooyoung finishes. “As a way to say thank you. It all spiraled from there.”

Jinsol lets out a little  _ aww _ . “That’s a great meet-cute.”

Jungeun stabs at a piece of ginger. “You know, Sooyoung, did you hear the story of that other Sooyoung that vanished? Ha Sooyoung?”

Sooyoung stiffens, almost imperceptibly. Haseul notices- she knows Jungeun does, too. “No, I don’t. Care to enlighten me.”

“She was our age,” Jungeun says. “I think it was a few years ago that she vanished, yeah? Great student, great person, everyone loved her. Then one day, they found her shoes by the edge of the water. Nothing else. They nearly arrested her boyfriend, but he had an alibi. Real creepy case.”

“Fascinating,” Sooyoung mutters. “I wonder what happened to her. Maybe the murderer’s still around.”

“Oh, you think she died?” Jungeun says, leaning over. “I think she might still be alive.” 

Jinsol coughs, lightly. She’s trying to change the subject- it’s not working. They spend the rest of the dinner in silence.

-

_ The second girl swims over, ducking her head under the water like a seal. “Hey,” she says. “Do you want to see another world?” The first nods. _

-

Haseul walks home with Sooyoung along the edges of the cliffs. One wrong step, and they’ll both fall into the ocean. It’s raining- a light drizzle coats Haseul’s raincoat. An idea occurs to her. Sooyoung is kind, and pretty, and she really does need to get over Jungeun. “Hey,” she says, almost as a joke, “do you want to make that story about how we met real?”

Sooyoung tilts her head. She’s beautiful, Haseul thinks- there should be a painting dedicated to her, an exhibit, a whole fucking museum. “Are you asking me out?”

Haseul nods. “Yeah. You’re beautiful, and smart, and funny-”

Sooyoung cuts her off by kissing her.

Her lips are soft against Haseul’s and taste, faintly, of salt. When she draws back, she says, “Do you remember the night we met? I told you something.”

“What did you tell me?” Haseul whispers, touching her lips. She wishes Sooyoung would kiss her again.

Sooyoung looks sad, almost, but there’s a fire in her eyes that scares Haseul, suddenly. “I told you not to choose me again.”

With almost superhuman strength, she hugs Haseul tightly. Runs both of them off the edge of the cliff

-

_ So the second drags her under the waves. _

-

They fight in midair. Haseul doesn’t have time to think, to scream, she just acts- pulls Sooyoung’s hair, scratches at her face, anything to get her to let Haseul go.

She does, but she keeps her hand attached to Haseul’s. “I’m not letting you go,” she mouths. “Nobody tried to hold onto me. You deserve better.”

“Sooyoung?” says Haseul. Her voice is small. She doesn’t recognize it.

In a flash of thought, she realizes- this is the last word she’ll ever say.

They hit the water.

-

_ The water is far from clear, but Sooyoung can still see Haseul come to the realization that a stranger is drowning her. Can still see her mouth one word-  _ please _ . _

_ She hesitates. _

-

There’s a moment when they’re both floating under the water, hair unbound by gravity. Haseul’s injuries are half-healed. She remembers that she should be angry at Sooyoung, furious even, but she forgives her somehow. Sooyoung killed her, but Sooyoung, too, had been killed. Once upon a time.

“He was my boyfriend,” Sooyoung says. “Three years older. I tried to break up with him when we were walking that cliff path, and he pushed me over. Nobody questioned him, because people listen to the rich, the powerful, the influential. They don’t listen to the dead.”

“Oh,” Haseul whispers. “Why did you-”

“I wanted to pass on,” Sooyoung continues. “But the ocean wouldn’t let me. A life for a life, it said. I had to do the same to someone.” Her eyes are filled with anguish, somehow. Haseul still wants to kiss her. “I almost drowned you, you know? When you were drunk. But I couldn’t. You said please. But I… you gave me the opportunity.” She pauses. “Haseul, I’m so sorry.”

“Are you going to pass on now?” Haseul asks. “I wouldn’t blame you. But I- it’s going to be so lonely here, Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung looks at Haseul, and there’s something strange in her eyes. “You want me to stay?”

“Yeah,” Haseul says. “Yeah, I do. I shouldn’t forgive you. I can’t forgive you. But I want you here with me. Death is going to be… lonely.”

Sooyoung inhales. Exhales. “Haseul, I want to, I just…” She pauses. “I didn’t want to hurt you. But I did. All so I could pass on. And I’m not going to sacrifice that.”

“Please?” Haseul repeats, desperate. “I chose you. Can you choose me?”

Sooyoung winces. “I don’t…” Bubbles float up from her mouth, to the service of the water. 

“You’re going to stay,” Haseul says, firmly this time. “You  _ owe  _ me, Sooyoung.”

“I want to leave,” Sooyoung whispers. “I do owe you, but…”

“You do,” Haseul says. “We’re going to be the loud dead, Sooyoung. We can gather our loved ones. Create a whole kingdom under the sea. Make sure nothing like this happens again.”

“Take more of them?” Sooyoung says, suddenly angry. “Haseul, I wanted the cycle to end here.”

“You should have thought about that before you killed me,” Haseul snaps, and Sooyoung winces. “Hey, I didn’t mean-”

“Yes, you did,” Sooyoung murmurs. “And I deserved it.” She touches Haseul’s arm. Her grip is light, and despite the fact that she’s dead, oddly warm. “I hope death treats you well, Haseul. Neither of us deserved this.” 

She’s fading away, and Haseul grasps at her, anything to keep her here. “Sooyoung? Sooyoung! Sooyoung, come back.”

There’s a whisper in her ear as the other girl leaves. “I could have loved you.”

Haseul is alone with the silence and the ocean. She’s feeling her skin grow cold, feeling the world become less material around her. 

_ There will be someone _ , she vows.  _ Someone who says _ I love you  _ instead of  _ I did  _ or  _ I could have.  _ Someone who chooses me. _

_ And now that I’m dead, now that I can make as many bad choices as I want…  _

-

_ Two girls emerge from the water, and one collapses from the exhaustion of the night almost immediately. She won’t remember anything in the morning- anything Sooyoung doesn’t tell her to remember, that is. _

_ Haseul won’t hear her, but Sooyoung says, “Don’t choose me again.”  _

-

Jungeun sits by the edge of the water, tears running down her face. She misses Haseul- her friend, her ex, her  _ something _ . She can’t believe that she trusted Sooyoung. She can’t believe her friend was dating a murderer- no matter what the reports say, she’s positive that Haseul’s death was Sooyoung’s fault.

There’s a splash. Jungeun looks up and gasps.

It’s a girl, emerging from the waves. And she bears a startling resemblance to Haseul- but this girl’s eyes are cold, this girl’s hair is streaked with icy white. This girl’s smile is still bright and real.

“Hello,” Jungeun whispers.

“Hi,” the girl says back, smiling. “Kim Jungeun. Do you still love me?”

She reaches out her hand, and Jungeun takes it. Even though she knows this is dangerous, knows Haseul is dead, she takes the girl’s hand.

It’s cold. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Haseul says, and leads her into the waves.

**Author's Note:**

> someone remind me to make a fic where there's not some sort of lipseul love triangle drama
> 
> comments make my day, so feel free to leave any thoughts!


End file.
